Perspective

I'm realizing I've been getting caught up in petty things lately. Everyone tells me how I'm so mature for getting over the breakup so quickly, and that's good I guess. To truly care about someone is to let them go, without knowing if they'll ever come back. To truly care about another person is to want what's best for them more than your personal ideal situation. That's what's made this easy for me. My greatest desire is for him to be ok and happy with his life. Am I over the breakup? Yes. Am I over him? Just about.

I have so much for which to be grateful. God has blessed me beyond anything I could have ever deserved or wanted, starting with Christ's sacrifice on my behalf. Think about it: God gave up his only son. He gave up the person He loved most to save people who had no regard for Him. That really is love. I could never do that. I could never be so unselfish as to sacrifice the people I love most to help someone who didn't care about me, with no guarantee that my sacrifice would move any sort of response to them. That's just...wow. Beyond comprehension.

I've been complaining about school so much lately. I need to take a step back and realize school is a privelege, not a right or something to be expected.

Some things I can be thankful for: My parents are paying for me to go to a great school. I have an amazing family, some of the most wonderfullest awesomest friends anyone could ask for. My life is relatively drama free, I'm healthy, my family is healthy, we live comfortably despite the tough economic crap. I really am spoiled, and lived a semi charmed life. So my classes are boring and easy. All the more reason to do well! I have the freedom to worship my saviour wherever and whenever I please without fear of persecution. Billy and I are still friends, and the breakup was not ugly or drama or forcing anyone to pick sides. I have everything I need for life without having to do hardly anything for it. I never have to worry about where my next meal is coming from, or if I'll be waking up tomorrow, or if I'll have clothes to wear.

So many people have so much less, and are still making the best of their lives without complaining all the time. I knew two girls in high school who lost their mothers to cancer. They were both two of the sweetest girls I ever knew, and I never heard either of them complain. I met a friend of a friend the other day, and he seemed like a chill kid. He seemed content with his life, and happy to be who he was. He's a cool kid. I was reading his blog earlier tonight, and discovered that this seemingly happy go lucky kid has experienced some of the worst things life can throw at you, and is on the verge of another tragedy. It amazed and inspired me so much. You'd think anyone who'd had such a sucky life would be jaded and bitter, but this guy is exactly the opposite. His situation reminds me yet again of how much I've been given in life and how much I've been blessed.

Thank you, my new friend, for your example. You are an inspiration and an example. You are in my prayers every day. I am praying that God sends his angels to comfort you and give you strength. Many hugs!!

Peace y'all.

P.S. Common Sense Life Lesson for the week: When traveling to an unfamiliar destination, plan extra time to account for getting lost and trying to figure out how to get there.

some not so emo musings

Recently I've come to the conclusion that I am spoiled. Very spoiled. Not just in that I've never wanted for anything, but that for the most part, when I want something or want my way about something I get it. This is true of my home life and alot of my social life. Not precisely sure why. Thankfully it hasn't rotted me too much...yet. I pray it doesn't. My only guess as to why I am spoiled is that I'm generally not the demanding type. Growing up at home I was (I've been told) the "easy" child, for the most part. I got good grades, I had good friends, I didn't get in trouble at school, I didn't cause too much trouble at home. Around friends, I'm not the one asserting my own way or making my wants a priority. I'm nobody's floor mat, but I'll just watch things to see how they develop before asserting a definite opinion. I've got somewhat of a reputation as a good girl, although anyone who knows me well will tell you there's more to me than the sweet angel I present. Some people have yet to be convinced of this, not quite sure why...(I'm not really an angel, I just act like one). So why do I think I'm so spoiled? The times I've cared about something enough to assert my desire or wanted my own way about something badly enough to do something about it, I've gotten it. With few exceptions, and those being minor, this is a repeating pattern throughout my life. My pride would tell me its my reward for being the good girl (in public). My more realistic little grey cells would tell me it's God's grace I don't deserve. My cynicism would tell me it's a setup for future trials. So what's the real truth? Most likely a combination of all three. I spotted this spoilage in my life when I was considering how much of my own desires and wanting my own way to assert in a...situation...I have going on right now. The thought "I want this to go my way and I get what I want" crossed my mind, and I thought, is this true? I started thinking...yes, actually, it is. Thankfully I figured out that asserting my own way in this situation is going to get me nowhere. I'm rather glad I've picked up on this fact, because it helps to explain why I'm so good at getting favors and privileges in life with little manipulation. Granted I have no fear of manipulation when it's necessary, and I can be quite good at it, if I feel it's needed. That comes from being female. Manipulation to get my own way is something that must not be overused. That will get old fast, and people won't trust your motives. Thankfully I've learned this by watching other people, and not through personal experience. It can be fun once in a while, but it must be used ever so cautiously. So that's that for now. Happy New Year to all, may God bless you and your loved ones in the coming year.

p.s. common sense life lesson for the week: don't leave sugar snap peas out of the refrigerator for two days, they tend to get deformed and taste a bit...off. A bit of re-refrigeration can cure it a bit, but only so much. Yeah...that's up there with the ravioli can...