Thursday, February 3, 2011

It's been a while?

So it's been about a year and then some since I used this. Maybe if I used it more often I wouldn't have so many thoughts swirling about in my head and confusing me. I should use my diary as well, then I wouldn't talk to myself as much ;) Annnnywho, for my 4 faithful followers, and any passing stalkers, a brief update on life.

>>I turned 21 this past summer, spent most of July partying, and have actually become much more responsible about my alcohol since then. I suppose I got most of my partying out of my system. Also, I don't venture out much in the cold sooo...I just stick to the occasional liquor run at the store down the street from school. They know me. No seriously. They don't even ask for my ID anymore they're just like hey what's up how's school.
>>Speaking of school, I'm taking a semester off for right now. I'm taking one Spanish class at MC just so I'm not completely disconnected from academics. Meanwhile, I'm working on finding another part time job and living at home. Perks: more work=more money, living at home=more time with family, home cooked meals, access to car (albeit limited), not paying for groceries, mommy hugs, and seeing the boyfriend more often (in theory). Downside: I don't see my friends from school very often, going anywhere has to be a smidge more planned, since i don't have ready access to bus/trains like I did on campus, and I'm not supposed to keep food in my room.
>>For those of you who don't stalk my facebook, I have a boyfriend. I obtained him over the summer. We've been dating for about 5 1/2 months, and it's going great =) His name is Elliot Cruz (that's the short version anyway), he's 28, born and raised in Puerto Rico til Dec 2006 when he came to the states (apparently, the economy in PR makes the US economic difficulties look minimal), we me through work (We work for the same store in different malls), he's a strong Christian, and he treats me like my parents raised me to believe me I deserve. He also puts up with my randomness, my forgetfulness, and my spoiled side. He's super =) <3

>>My current part time job, while not providing overly much in the way of hours, is definitely cool. I work for Things Remembered, a gift and engraving store. We sell gifts and recognition products for all occasions, our biggest season is April through June, then we don't get busy again til Christmas. (I worked 30 hours in 3 days the week before Christmas. Highly unusual for a part timer). I really enjoy the products we sell as well as the engraving. Engraving is fun!! Come visit me and get things engraved!! We can engrave stuff from outside our store too. Gotta find another part time job though.
>>I'm going to Rancho 3M for Spring Break!!! Rancho 3M is a Christian Orphanage and school in Guadalupe, Mexico. I went there for a few misions trips in high school. I'm super excited. I'm going to be working to help build the baby home, so they can continue taking in abandoned infants. I'll also get to visit some friends of mine; a woman known to many as Aunt Sherry who will be our cook, our friend Maricela who teaches at the school at the Ranch, and Mari and my's friend Irene, a girl who stayed with my family during an exchange trip a couple years ago. Super exciting.

I think that covers the major stuff. Now back to trying to make all the clothes I brought home from school fit in my dresser and closet.

Peace y'all.

P.S. Common Sense Life Lesson for the day: when meeting up with someone in a mall, arrange a specific meeting place. Otherwise you just look kinda dumb waiting for them to loop back around a common point.

P.P.S. Check out my friends' Emily and Lauren's photo blogs, they're super talented.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Winter Break Thus Far

The holidays are over, and we have entered the stage of winter break where I pretty much sit around all day doing nothing. That's if I even bother to get out of bed, which so far I've done every day. I've loved all the snow we've been getting! Sure it's a hassle to drive in but it's lots of fun to play in. What can I say, I'm a kid at heart.

The only real annoying part about the snow is it effectively eliminates my job at the golf course. Thus, I've started seeking other employment. I previewed/interviewed for a job at a clothing store in a mall nearby. I really like their clothes, and it seems like it'd be a fun job, but the manager in charge of the interviews is starting to annoy me. He's really not so great in the follow-up department. He was supposed to call me to set up the initial preview, but instead I had to call him ~2.5 weeks after turning in the original application. He *said* he was actually going to call me that day, but I wasn't convinced. The job preview was this past Saturday, and the manager told me he'd call me on Monday around one to let me know either way if he liked me. So Monday afternoon comes, no call at one, or in the hour following. I begin to think, maybe I misheard him and he just said Monday, but no call for the rest of the afternoon, or the following day, which was yesterday. So today was another lazy day. I called the store around 4pm, spoke to the manager, and told him, maybe I'd misunderstood, but I thought he'd said he was going to call Monday, and maybe my phone missed a call or message from him (my phone randomly does that at times). He said he hadn't called anyone Monday or Tuesday, but would call me back in about an hour when he had time to talk. ::Sigh:: Fair enough. So I wait. 5 o'clock comes, no call. 530, no call. 6pm I sit down to dinner with my family. Phone goes off a couple times during dinner, but nope, just a text message. Currently it's 930 and he hasn't called. ::Grumble:: If he doesn't call tomorrow, I'll probably call him back on Friday. I'm beginning to think I'm going to start applying elsewhere, as this is getting a touch ridiculous.

Tomorrow I venture to the eye doctor for the third time in as many weeks. The first time was my routine yearly checkup. We switched eye doctors this year, and I'm liking the new one so far. I told them my current contact prescription was not sufficient, as I was still having depth perception issues and distance clarity issues. After examining my eyes, they doctor said I needed a different type of contact, one that corrects for astigmatism. She also told me my right eye, in which I had previously not worn a contact, needed a slight prescription. So she gives me the new contacts, and for the first few days, they're great. I can see much better, my depth perception has increased, and there's much much less distance blurryness. I received the contacts on my second visit, Saturday Jan 2 (insurance wouldn't cover them unless we bought them in the new year) and for the first few days they were great. My right eye was taking a few days to get used to having the contact, but otherwise all was well. Toward the end of the week, the contacts started to irritate my eyes. Saturday, Sunday, Monday I was using the eye drops frequently to control the irritation. Tuesday I could't even get the contacts in without them hurting my eyes. I tried for about half an hour. I washed my hands several times, switched contact cases, changed the solution a few times, nothing. So I grabbed an unopened contact from my old prescription and put it in, then departed on my day. The vision quality was noticeably less, but the irritation was gone. Today I got the left one in, with only mild irritation, but it increased throughout the day, so I took it out and again put in one from the old prescription. I have another eye doctor appt tomorrow so hopefully they'll be able to figure out what's going on.

My list of things to do this winter break:
  • Reading: I've done a good bit but dropped off recently. Stupid internet...
  • Clubbing: hasn't happened yet. People are broke/lazy. Maybe next weekend.
  • Skiing: Hasn't happened yet. It's expensive, and nobody really has the money.
  • Ice Skating: Once so far. Love it. Need to do more. It's the same price/time as a movie, only you get to talk to your friends.
  • See movies. Sherlock Holmes check x2. Nine check. Still to see is It's Complicated and The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus.
  • Find a job: in process. See above rant.
  • Gain weight: I'm trying to gain 5-7 lbs. Nothing serious, just enough to keep me healthy. I've been making protein shakes 2x a day, a banana flavor powder mixed with orange juice. It's actually pretty good.
My social life has been somewhat increased over winter break, but I don't get out much, as Luke generally has the car. His working in college park takes priority over my scampering over MoCo. Plus I'll have the car all next semester, so it's not a big deal to let him have it for a month. After all, if he's driving it, he's paying for gas.

I'm super excited to be going back to main campus next semester. Sure it's only tuesday/thursday, but it's better than nothing, and I get to see people! I'll likely still be there on weekends as well. Yay for reconnecting and actually having some meaningful classes. Shady Grove was ok, and I made a couple friends, but it's not the same when I've been in Catonsville for 2 years.

Now I'm going to do some misc facebook, make my drink, and maybe eat cookies or ice cream.

Peace y'all.

P.S. Common Sense Life Lesson for the day: When planning a museum trip, make sure you look up the admission fee before you get there. Then you're not standing around going "huh, we don't have the $ for this, now where to?" Thankfully there are other free museums in DC.

Monday, January 4, 2010

New Year's Resolution

Happy 2010! It's going to take me a bit to get used to writing 2010 on my papers instead of 2009, but I figure the same goes for most people.

So. It's that time of year when everyone makes "Resolutions" and sets goals to accomplish in the new year. Local gyms and vitamin shoppes must do well this time of year. Everyone has something they want to do or get done or stop doing in the next 365 day period.

When I was younger, my family had a New Year tradition. My brother and sister and I would all write down a number of resolutions/goals on a piece of paper, read it aloud to the family, copy it with the fax machine (the closest thing we had to a copier, yay fax paper), then burn one copy. I never really understood why we burned them, but we did it anyway. I don't remember much of what our resolutions are, or if we ever really kept to them, but it was nice to have a family tradition (even if I did scramble to come up with 10 goals at some point during the evening).

Nowadays, it seems like everyone's goals for the new year are somewhat cliche...there's the health related ones: lose weight, eat better, work out more, reduce or stop altogether the intake of alcohol/tobacco/other substances. There's the religious ones: go to church/religious services more, be more involved with a particular church/religious community, read x number of religious texts or books dealing with religious matters, read through the Bible/other sacred texts in a year. Academic ones are popular among students of all ages: Get better grades, get straight As, achieve a certain grade point average. Athletic and artistic goals are likely also common. To me, it seemed like everyone was doing the same thing, and half of them forgot all about it come February 1, if not sooner. So I said, why bother making a resolution? Why make one just to make one? Sure I want to eat better, take care of my body better, get better grades, read my Bible more, find a church in which to get involved, but I feel like a resolution should be something different.

Sunday morning I was sitting in church, and some of these thoughts were running through my head between songs during the worship hour. Then I had a thought. I caught sight of a shirt being worn by one of the guitarists on stage. His shirt had a logo on it from a youth ministry theme a few years back. The logo is simply one word: Liveworthy. Two words, a verb and an adverb, combined to make one command. As worship concluded and the guest speaker was introduced, I knew what my New Year's resolution was going to be. I sat down and wrote "Liveworthy" on the back of my hand. It was a reminder to myself [and a potential tattoo idea, we'll see, I tend to change my mind about what I want for a tattoo every few months], moreso than a resolution. A reminder that every day I wake up, go to work, go to class, go out with friends, my life should reflect who I claim to be. People should know there is something different about me. Not just becuase I go to church or go to a Christian fellowship group, but every action should reflect Christ in my life. It should be as natural and almost as obvious as acting like a female. I'm female, this is evident when people look at me, it comes out in how I act, talk, dress, carry myself, etc. So should be my faith. I claim that my faith is the all encompassing ring within which everything else in my life takes place, but it's all too easy for me to take it for granted and act just like any other person. Not even acting in ways contrary to my faith or morals, but just not actively acting in a way that does reflect who I am.

When I look back a year from now on how my life has gone, I want to be able to thank God that I was acting and living the vast majority of my life (ideally all, but I'm not perfect) in a way that causes others to pause and wonder, what is it about her that's different? Food for thought.

Peace y'all.

P.S. Common Sense Life Lesson for the week: Lock your car from the outside with your keys, not from the inside. This taken from a friend of mine who has locked her keys in her car 2x this past semester.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Why I Hate Women

Most people who've talked to me for any length of time pick up on the fact that I firmly believe in the inherent superiority of women. I'm no bra-burning man hating feminist, I just believe that women are better in most categories of human existence, with the exception of brute strength. I love my girl friends, and they're the ones I turn to most often when I'm in a bind or just need to talk to someone. I also love my guy friends, and spend the majority of my on campus social life with my boys. One thing I really enjoy about guys is the overall lack of drama. Guys are generally simple, and while this can at times frustrate the daylights out of women who overanalyze their simplicity, it's refreshing. Anyway, enough comparing and contrasting. Rant time.

Sometimes I REALLY do not like girls. They are dumb as rocks! They're incredibly stupid sometimes and it drives me nuts! This doesn't change their superiority but holy cats is it annoying when otherwise smart girls act incredibly stupid, generally as regards guys. I'm sorry, I must have missed the memo where we were told we have to stoop to their level in order to make them like us. The vast majority of girls will tell you they want a guy who challenges them, not someone they feel like they have to dumb themselves down for.I would think guys feel the same way about girls. Maybe it's some sort of prime time TV stereotype where the guys go for the ditzy cute girls? Stupidity is only cute for so long. Then it gets annoying. I jsut don't understand why they do it.

It's not just intelligence either. What really bothers me is when girls somehow magically forget their self worth and self esteem because of a guy. Now if a guy is currently or has recently treated her like sh....crap [trying to keep this PG], then yeah she's entitled to a few moments of fragility. Breakups or a bad fight or something, then sure her self esteem might take a bruising but it shouldn't stay like that. Girls should NEVER let a blow to their self esteem make them feel like they are less than amazing for any period of more than a week. You get hit, you fall down, you get back up, shake it off, and keep going. To me this is common sense, like when you get a bad grade, and you're disappointed, but you resolve to do better next time. So it should be for relationships. Despite this, I see so many girls settling for guys who by no means deserve them. Girls who stay with guys who emotionally/psychologically/physically abuse them. Girls who get dumped, then go back to a guy who dumped them. Girls who ignore every reason staring them in the face of why the guy they are with is worthless, but continue to do so. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!

When did my species lose our sense of self worth? Where are the women of the past who were willing to fight for everything they believed in? Where are the women's suffrage leaders? Where are the women fighting for equality for minorities? Where are the women who weren't afraid to turn a guy down if she knew he was less than she deserved? Where is the spark, the fight? It seems to me like my generation is full of women who don't even know how to make a guy work for them anymore. Granted, our over sexed, gender neutral culture has taught us that a girl needs to do the leading and the chasing, that it's bad to stay single for long periods of time, that girls have no identity outside of a boyfriend, and most terribly, that a guy will not stay with them if they don't give themselves up within a couple dates. Now, regardless of whether someone practices extra martial sex or not, I'd think most everyone would be in agreement that any girl who thinks that if she doesn't have sex with a guy she's dating right away won't be able to keep him around is sadly mistaken. If a guy does give off this impression, he's nowhere near what she deserves. The level of intimacy in a relationship should be agreed upon by both partners, and neither one should feel like they have to give more than they are comfortable giving in order to make a relationship last.

I saw a movie a couple months back with my sister entitled "He's Just Not That In To You". The concept of the movie was teaching a girl who was overly eager to find a guy that she needed to calm down and let the guy come to her. The basic moral was, if a guy is not initiating contact with you, he's just not that in to you, and it's not going anywhere. I wish, I sincerely wish, this movie could be shown to every girl between the ages of 13 and 30 who is in the market for a relationship. It frustrates me beyond words when I hear a girl say "I need a guy". No. You do not NEED a boyfriend. You want one. It is your natural human desire for companionship and a life partner, but you do not NEED someone else to be happy. Yes another person with whom you share the intimacy of a relationship adds happiness to your life, but it is possible to be happy without it. Especially when half the guys around are worthless. I don't know why girls settle for less than they deserve. Is it that they don't think they can do better? Is it that they forget they deserve better? Every girl should believe in herself and her worth. Every girl is special, and if a guy treats her as anything less than the best thing that ever happened to him, he's a tool, and not worth it. I speak from personal experience and from watching others. If a girl doesn't feel cherished and loved and special, why should she bother?

There have been songs on the radio in the past few years that send a message that it's ok to be single, or to not want/need a guy. Examples include "Single Ladies" by Beyonce, "U+Ur Hand" and "So What" by P!nk, "Single" by Natasha Bedingfield, "I'm a Survivor" by Destiny's Child, and the classic "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor. Sure some of these songs also emphasize a bit of revenge, but they ultimately send the message to girls and guys of all ages that it's ok to be single and that if someone isn't what you deserve, you don't need to sacrifice yourself for them.

I wish I could take all girls 13-30 and have something like a week long conference to teach them how to fight for what they are worth. I want to teach every girl that she is special and she should only date a guy who makes her feel like that. I also want to teach girls that you should have a little spunk, and a little fight. I'm a firm believer in not letting a guy get a hold of you right away. Guys were created to be hunters and chasers, and if they're not willing to do it, they don't really like her that much. Effort should go both ways, but the initial effort needs to be 90% from the male. When I see girls who date worthless guys, or who keep going back to guys who treat them badly, in some stupid denial that "it'll be better this time" or who give themselves physically and emotionally to a guy right away, I feel like slapping them and saying, "where is your spirit?! Where is your fight? Where is your self worth?" Kelli Pickler has a song entitled "Don't You Know You're Beautiful?" and I love the message. While it's not specifically about being single, it's about telling girls that the pressures of perfect beauty that are portrayed on TV and magazines should not dictate out self worth, and that every girl is beautiful and special. Love love love it. More songs like that should be written and played on the radio.

*Sigh* Maybe someday I'll start some sort of educational course for girls and teach them to stand up for themselves, and teach them that they are special and beautiful and that they should never feel pressured to give themselves up right away or to play dumb for a guy. For now, I have to study.

Peace y'all.

P.S. Common Sense Life Lesson for the week: Backing up in the dark in the rain up a narrow driveway is a bad idea. Particularly when said driveway has a ditch on either side of it.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

It's One of Those Days...

So it's dreary and rainy and blah outside and cold....kinda like the last time I updated. I feel like doing anything but my work, surprise surprise. My major thought is mostly "where is my life going?" seeing as how it's the middle of November. Thanksgiving is ONE WEEK away. When did this happen? Well no sense in looking back. Time to focus on getting things done and wrapping up the semester. Which reminds me, I need to register for classes this weekend. It's probably going to take some doing. I have to figure out where I'm taking my UMBC classes, and which advisor to talk to, then I'm sure I'll have to deal with some hassle from MC. Oh the joy of going to two different schools.

I'm listening to Christmas music again :) I was on a Wicked kick for a bit, due to last week's episode of Glee, then last night I was listening to Glee music (they already have a volume two of songs coming out!) Thanksgiving will be interesting. We're having it at our house this year, woot! But we're doing it with Dad's side of the family. Which means odds of seeing my mom's parents, who we really only see twice a year, are slim to none, and we're not seeing our cousins. Sad face! But we get to see the little cousins who we almost never see, and Grandpa is leaving the dreary confines of Buffalo for a day or two. Also...JENNIFER IS COMING!!!! This makes me very happy :D

In other news, I quit facebook for two weeks. Well, at least one week. If after the first week, I've sufficiently kicked the habit and relieved myself of my need for facebook, I'll try checking it once a day. If I still feel like "zomg fb need!!!" then I completely leave it for another week. I'm on day two so far, and I'm doing alright. No severe withdrawl, which probably means it's not as much of a habit as I think it is, I'm just letting it take over my life too much.

Christmas shopping is on hold for right now due to lack of funds. Thankfully, I already picked some up last month when the padres were out of town. Lack of funds being due to draining my bank account and borrowing money after my car got towed last week in Baltimore, and the towing company charged me $250 dollars to get it back. $250?!?!?! What kind of bullshit is that?! -_-; Freaking Baltimore. Nevermind that they relocated the car to the middle of nowhere in Overlea, MD. I suppose it's not techinically in the middle of nowhere, as it was on route one, just off of 695. Not quite bfn, but close for how deserted the place looked. Maybe it was just the weather.

Speaking of lack of funds, I need to start looking for another job. Blue Mash is currently employing me about 6 hours a week. This is what I get for working at a seasonal establishment. I did a little math (amazing, right?) and that's $45 a week, $90 a pay period, $180 a month. Before taxes. Even without taxes, let's see what that gets me. $100/month goes to my parents to repay my $1200 debt incurred over the summer. So that leaves me with $80. Gas is about $25/week. So that gets me 3 fillups per month, with $5 left over. This is going to get less, as it gets darker sooner every day. So yeah, right now I'm not even making expenses. Thus why I need another job. I should print a resume and go ask around at the mall.

That's pretty much life right now. I feel like baking...I really should work on my paper though...we'll see.

Peace y'all.

P.S. Common Sense Life Lesson for the week: When parking in Baltimore, just b/c you can't see a sign saying you can't park there, doesn't mean they won't tow you because there's a sign 30 yards away facing the other way.

Friday, October 16, 2009


Today's title refers to the forecasted high temperature for this area. 47 degrees Fahrenheit. 47! The record low for our area is 51! So said the man on the news last night. It's freaking October and it's snowing in the northeast/midatlantic states, and it's in the 40s here. So odd. Maybe we'll actually get snow this year? Cold weather and a family guy episode have inspired me to listen to Christmas music, so that's what I've been doing :D I stocked the 5 cd changer full of Christmas cds and just let it play...yum. I'm also listening to TSO and Josh Groban on my computer. Happiness. The leaves are changing and being colourful! It's exciting, although it doesn't reall feel like autumn with how cold it is. The leaves aren't nearly as pretty as they are up north this time of year, but still nice.

In other news, I met a girl at school who I'm now tutoring in Spanish. Turns out she's a Christian and I know her brother from IV at UMBC. She also recently started attending Cov. Small world? I think so. She's cool though, I like her. We had lunch at Chipotle yesterday after tutoring, since she had lack of cash to pay me she offered to buy lunch with her credit card, which I agreed to, since I'd probably just spend the money on food anyway.

Weekend happenings will be limited by the dreary weather unfortunately. I'm sure Tori and I will find some way to entertain ourselves despite the drizzle. Maybe we'll see a movie or go shopping. Sister bonding time =]

You win some, you lose some. It was fun while it lasted, and it's a learning experience.

Now time for a nice hot shower, and maybe some hot tea or cocoa to take off the chill.

Peace y'all.

P.S. Common Sense Life Lesson for the week: Drinking hot chocolate while folding laundry is a bad idea, particularly when you attempt to drink it over a pair of freshly washed white pants. Go me.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Just checking in...

So yeah I still haven't gotten into the habit of updating regulary. One of these days I'll get around to it, hopefully. Anywho, I'm in Rhode Island for the weekend, having myself a fantabulous time despite an overall lack of sunshine. It's really neat up here, reminds me a lot of upstate New York where I used to spend my summers. Pretty trees in the fall, small houses, friendly people, small towns, mom and pop stores, nearest wal-mart or home depot is about half an hour away. Apparently it's real touristy in the summer.

It's been a pretty chill day so far. For some reason I woke up around 8am this morning, probably due to the whole not sleeping well my first night in a new place thing. Rode around on the bike for the morning/early afternoon seeing the sights and theorizing with the bike store parts guy about possible issues with the bike Jeremy is in the process of fixing up. Once the rain started coming, we ditched back to Jeremy and Andre's place, and just watched tv for a couple hours. Their house is heated by woodstove, so it gets really toasty. I like it. Went out again around 6 to get food and go to the grocery store so I can cook dinner for Jeremy and Andre tomorrow. Jeremy's a little nervous, saying "You're telling me you can cook but you also said you could drive so...". I think it'll all work out. I may have bought a bit too much chicken but if so, they can freeze the leftovers and use it again. You can never have too much chicken on hand.

In other news, everyone up here are dirty Red Sox fans and Patriots fans. #fail. So they were none too happy about Boston's 3-0 loss to the Angels last night (really, the angels? that's like the Redskins losing to the Lions...oh wait...) Tonight's game is currently tied at 0-0 middle of the third. Not so impressive Boston. Yankees--Twins are tied 3-3 in what appears to be the 11th inning if I'm reading that right? Ouch. Get it together NY!

That's about all for now, updates on school when I return from my lovely excursion.

Peace y'all.

P.S. Common Sense Life Lesson for the Week: Don't blame community college not teaching you good study habits when you didn't do your paper you've known was due for 4 weeks. Sometimes I wonder about people...