Most people who've talked to me for any length of time pick up on the fact that I firmly believe in the inherent superiority of women. I'm no bra-burning man hating feminist, I just believe that women are better in most categories of human existence, with the exception of brute strength. I love my girl friends, and they're the ones I turn to most often when I'm in a bind or just need to talk to someone. I also love my guy friends, and spend the majority of my on campus social life with my boys. One thing I really enjoy about guys is the overall lack of drama. Guys are generally simple, and while this can at times frustrate the daylights out of women who overanalyze their simplicity, it's refreshing. Anyway, enough comparing and contrasting. Rant time.
Sometimes I REALLY do not like girls. They are dumb as rocks! They're incredibly stupid sometimes and it drives me nuts! This doesn't change their superiority but holy cats is it annoying when otherwise smart girls act incredibly stupid, generally as regards guys. I'm sorry, I must have missed the memo where we were told we have to stoop to their level in order to make them like us. The vast majority of girls will tell you they want a guy who challenges them, not someone they feel like they have to dumb themselves down for.I would think guys feel the same way about girls. Maybe it's some sort of prime time TV stereotype where the guys go for the ditzy cute girls? Stupidity is only cute for so long. Then it gets annoying. I jsut don't understand why they do it.
It's not just intelligence either. What really bothers me is when girls somehow magically forget their self worth and self esteem because of a guy. Now if a guy is currently or has recently treated her like sh....crap [trying to keep this PG], then yeah she's entitled to a few moments of fragility. Breakups or a bad fight or something, then sure her self esteem might take a bruising but it shouldn't stay like that. Girls should NEVER let a blow to their self esteem make them feel like they are less than amazing for any period of more than a week. You get hit, you fall down, you get back up, shake it off, and keep going. To me this is common sense, like when you get a bad grade, and you're disappointed, but you resolve to do better next time. So it should be for relationships. Despite this, I see so many girls settling for guys who by no means deserve them. Girls who stay with guys who emotionally/psychologically/physically abuse them. Girls who get dumped, then go back to a guy who dumped them. Girls who ignore every reason staring them in the face of why the guy they are with is worthless, but continue to do so. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!
When did my species lose our sense of self worth? Where are the women of the past who were willing to fight for everything they believed in? Where are the women's suffrage leaders? Where are the women fighting for equality for minorities? Where are the women who weren't afraid to turn a guy down if she knew he was less than she deserved? Where is the spark, the fight? It seems to me like my generation is full of women who don't even know how to make a guy work for them anymore. Granted, our over sexed, gender neutral culture has taught us that a girl needs to do the leading and the chasing, that it's bad to stay single for long periods of time, that girls have no identity outside of a boyfriend, and most terribly, that a guy will not stay with them if they don't give themselves up within a couple dates. Now, regardless of whether someone practices extra martial sex or not, I'd think most everyone would be in agreement that any girl who thinks that if she doesn't have sex with a guy she's dating right away won't be able to keep him around is sadly mistaken. If a guy does give off this impression, he's nowhere near what she deserves. The level of intimacy in a relationship should be agreed upon by both partners, and neither one should feel like they have to give more than they are comfortable giving in order to make a relationship last.
I saw a movie a couple months back with my sister entitled "He's Just Not That In To You". The concept of the movie was teaching a girl who was overly eager to find a guy that she needed to calm down and let the guy come to her. The basic moral was, if a guy is not initiating contact with you, he's just not that in to you, and it's not going anywhere. I wish, I sincerely wish, this movie could be shown to every girl between the ages of 13 and 30 who is in the market for a relationship. It frustrates me beyond words when I hear a girl say "I need a guy". No. You do not NEED a boyfriend. You want one. It is your natural human desire for companionship and a life partner, but you do not NEED someone else to be happy. Yes another person with whom you share the intimacy of a relationship adds happiness to your life, but it is possible to be happy without it. Especially when half the guys around are worthless. I don't know why girls settle for less than they deserve. Is it that they don't think they can do better? Is it that they forget they deserve better? Every girl should believe in herself and her worth. Every girl is special, and if a guy treats her as anything less than the best thing that ever happened to him, he's a tool, and not worth it. I speak from personal experience and from watching others. If a girl doesn't feel cherished and loved and special, why should she bother?
There have been songs on the radio in the past few years that send a message that it's ok to be single, or to not want/need a guy. Examples include "Single Ladies" by Beyonce, "U+Ur Hand" and "So What" by P!nk, "Single" by Natasha Bedingfield, "I'm a Survivor" by Destiny's Child, and the classic "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor. Sure some of these songs also emphasize a bit of revenge, but they ultimately send the message to girls and guys of all ages that it's ok to be single and that if someone isn't what you deserve, you don't need to sacrifice yourself for them.
I wish I could take all girls 13-30 and have something like a week long conference to teach them how to fight for what they are worth. I want to teach every girl that she is special and she should only date a guy who makes her feel like that. I also want to teach girls that you should have a little spunk, and a little fight. I'm a firm believer in not letting a guy get a hold of you right away. Guys were created to be hunters and chasers, and if they're not willing to do it, they don't really like her that much. Effort should go both ways, but the initial effort needs to be 90% from the male. When I see girls who date worthless guys, or who keep going back to guys who treat them badly, in some stupid denial that "it'll be better this time" or who give themselves physically and emotionally to a guy right away, I feel like slapping them and saying, "where is your spirit?! Where is your fight? Where is your self worth?" Kelli Pickler has a song entitled "Don't You Know You're Beautiful?" and I love the message. While it's not specifically about being single, it's about telling girls that the pressures of perfect beauty that are portrayed on TV and magazines should not dictate out self worth, and that every girl is beautiful and special. Love love love it. More songs like that should be written and played on the radio.
*Sigh* Maybe someday I'll start some sort of educational course for girls and teach them to stand up for themselves, and teach them that they are special and beautiful and that they should never feel pressured to give themselves up right away or to play dumb for a guy. For now, I have to study.
Peace y'all.
P.S. Common Sense Life Lesson for the week: Backing up in the dark in the rain up a narrow driveway is a bad idea. Particularly when said driveway has a ditch on either side of it.
