some not so emo musings

Recently I've come to the conclusion that I am spoiled. Very spoiled. Not just in that I've never wanted for anything, but that for the most part, when I want something or want my way about something I get it. This is true of my home life and alot of my social life. Not precisely sure why. Thankfully it hasn't rotted me too much...yet. I pray it doesn't. My only guess as to why I am spoiled is that I'm generally not the demanding type. Growing up at home I was (I've been told) the "easy" child, for the most part. I got good grades, I had good friends, I didn't get in trouble at school, I didn't cause too much trouble at home. Around friends, I'm not the one asserting my own way or making my wants a priority. I'm nobody's floor mat, but I'll just watch things to see how they develop before asserting a definite opinion. I've got somewhat of a reputation as a good girl, although anyone who knows me well will tell you there's more to me than the sweet angel I present. Some people have yet to be convinced of this, not quite sure why...(I'm not really an angel, I just act like one). So why do I think I'm so spoiled? The times I've cared about something enough to assert my desire or wanted my own way about something badly enough to do something about it, I've gotten it. With few exceptions, and those being minor, this is a repeating pattern throughout my life. My pride would tell me its my reward for being the good girl (in public). My more realistic little grey cells would tell me it's God's grace I don't deserve. My cynicism would tell me it's a setup for future trials. So what's the real truth? Most likely a combination of all three. I spotted this spoilage in my life when I was considering how much of my own desires and wanting my own way to assert in a...situation...I have going on right now. The thought "I want this to go my way and I get what I want" crossed my mind, and I thought, is this true? I started thinking...yes, actually, it is. Thankfully I figured out that asserting my own way in this situation is going to get me nowhere. I'm rather glad I've picked up on this fact, because it helps to explain why I'm so good at getting favors and privileges in life with little manipulation. Granted I have no fear of manipulation when it's necessary, and I can be quite good at it, if I feel it's needed. That comes from being female. Manipulation to get my own way is something that must not be overused. That will get old fast, and people won't trust your motives. Thankfully I've learned this by watching other people, and not through personal experience. It can be fun once in a while, but it must be used ever so cautiously. So that's that for now. Happy New Year to all, may God bless you and your loved ones in the coming year.

p.s. common sense life lesson for the week: don't leave sugar snap peas out of the refrigerator for two days, they tend to get deformed and taste a bit...off. A bit of re-refrigeration can cure it a bit, but only so much. Yeah...that's up there with the ravioli can...